The Blind Side

More proof that an inner city black kid is just a wealthy, white family away from being successful.

“The Blind Side,” or it’s international title “Diff’rent Strokes,” depicts the story of Michael Oher, a homeless African-American youngster from a broken home, taken in by the Touhys, a well-to-do white family who help him fulfill his potential. At the same time, Oher’s presence in the Touhys’ lives leads them to some insightful self-discoveries of their own. Living in his new environment, the teen faces a completely different set of challenges to overcome. As a football player and student, Oher works hard and with the help of his coaches and adopted family becomes an All-American offensive left tackle.

Rating: 2 out of 10

cliché or cliche (pronounced klē-ˈshā) is a saying, expression, idea, or element of an artistic work which has been overused to the point of losing its original meaning or effect.

This word completely sums up my thoughts on The Blind Side.  It’s a boring, paint by numbers, sticky sweet, and artificial made-for-TV movie with some of the most cliched dialogue and cardboard characters that I have seen in a long time.  I always love to quote the film itself  to give you an idea of just how bad people speaking can truly be:

Friend: You’re changing that boy’s life.

Bullock: No, he’s changing mine.

Whachew talkin’ ’bout, Sandra?!

I nearly vomited in my popcorn bowl and that’s just one of a myriad of one liners this piece of shit throws at us.  If the dialogue wasn’t bad enough, the story gives absolutely no resonant punch.  We are given almost no background on Michael Oher’s character (played by Quinton Aaron in a performance that consists of little more than looking down for most of the film) except that he comes from a shitty neighborhood and his mother is a crackhead.  So, Sandra Bullock, doing an Erin Brockovich impersonation, decides to bring in this poor kid and have him stay in her home.

Now I know this is a true story.  I’m an enormous NFL fan and knew most of this story before I even threw it in my blu-ray player.  I find it incredibly hard to believe that there was absolutely no resistance whatsoever from three members of her family or the community to bring a 350 lb. inner city black kid into an upscale white neighborhood.  But, no, this film never has the balls to even explore that.  The husband just complies with everything she says and likewise, their kids  go heel-to-toe.  Then, we’re subjected to a training montage where a 10-year-old boy trains him for football with a stopwatch, Sandra Bullock coaching Michael Oher on how to protect the quarterback because “clearly his coach can’t”, and more cliched scenes where his grades go up a little over time.  I have to end the review here because I’m reliving this horrible experience all over again and the fact that this movie actually got Oscar attention makes me sick!


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