Lies and Illusions

Wes Wilson (Christian Slater), a best-selling author, has a self-help book about honesty that has saved millions of relationships. But when his fiance Alicia (Sarah Ann Schultz) is abducted and declared dead, Wes suddenly finds himself hunted by hired killers, beautiful spies, and a ruthless criminal mastermind (Cuba Gooding Jr.) with a taste for both style and violence. What does Wes have that an international smuggling ring wants? Why did his late bride-to-be keep a secret room full of weapons? And who can he trust when nobody is what he or she seems to be? Directed by Tibor Takács (Mansquito, Mega Snake, Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep)

Rating: 2 out of 10

You never go full retard.

Christian Slater ignored that common Hollywood, unspoken rule when he made this epically bad movie. And just a public service warning: this DVD is in Red Boxes everywhere. Do not be fooled by a catchy title and sexy description. It’s awful.

Slater, who has fallen so far in his career, plays a wimpy love writer who says things like, “Ow! My ribs!” after being kicked, or, “You shot him!” after witnessing a man being shot. This is bad writing, pure and simple.

Gooding, who I once thought had great potential, has done nothing since winning an Oscar for “Jerry Maguire.” Well, I guess he was pretty good in “Radio,” but again, you never go full retard. His interpretation of a bad guy in this film is the over-pronunciation of words. You can’t entirely blame him. There was nothing on the page to work with.

This movie is full of horrid dialogue, awkward looking fight scenes, plot lines that never connect and directing that looks like it was made for TV. There are plenty of mistakes, too. A wound will be on different sides of Slater’s face after a cut, his wristwatch changes sides from right to left and back again to right, and in one scene, Alicia rips a windshield wiper from a car and stabs a man in the cheek with it who is wearing a mask, but the damage to the mask and blood are gone seconds later in the next shot. There are full on car chase scenes for 10 minutes complete with shootouts, near hits of pedestrians, and vehicles smashing through carts and canopies, but no police are in sight. The police don’t come until Slater gets shot and someone says, “Call the police,” and sirens are heard immediately.

After seeing this movie, I had to shout, “That movie was bad!”


3 responses to “Lies and Illusions

  1. Wow. Even the trailer sucks.

  2. Your best written review. I’ll make sure I avoid that piece of shit.

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