Brian and Matt have very similar taste in film, but every once in a while we completely disagree on a movie. Each of the Movie Brothers will list three three movies we disagree on and rip on each other in the process. Enjoy!
This film is an abhorrent failure on every conceivable level. The special effects make the Hulk look like a fake plastic doll, Eric Bana is lifeless in the lead, Nick Nolte seems like they grabbed him from a totally different movie and Ang Lee’s direction is rudderless, flat, and uninteresting. This was even more apparent when the movie studio pretended they got a do-over and released the much better “Incredible Hulk” in 2008. Matt always told me he liked the more cerebral aspects of the film. To this I say: “Yeah, I enjoyed the really ‘cerebral’ moments as well, like when Hulk smashed some cars and fought mutated dogs. Wow, so deep……”
Matt’s rating: 7 out of 10
My rating: 2 out of 10
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
This one isn’t as awful as Hulk but it’s damn near close. I remember sitting in the theater after this chunk of mule shit started and thought: “This is what all the hype is about? Are you fucking kidding me?” All those readers who enjoyed the book (including my brother) told me it was awesome and I’d love it. What is there to love? A stupid robot with Alan Rickman’s voice? A plot that meanders around with little or no explanation? Characters that pop in and out of the story with no dramatic arc or sense of purpose? Matt loves the books and is just kidding himself that the film isn’t bad.
Matt’s rating: 8 out of 10
My rating: 3 out of 10
Kids in Hall: Brain Candy
I was never a huge fan of Kids in the Hall but I did catch their show once in a while and though it could be pretty funny. But, this movie is one of the biggest pieces of garbage I’ve ever seen. It makes no sense, looks and feels exceptionally low budget and cheap, and is just plain unfunny. The actors go in and out of characters that belonged in bad five minute sketches and not 90 minute films. If any of the original creators ever happen to run into this blog, I just want you to know that your film single-handedly turned me off to the Kids in the Hall forever. Yes, it’s that bad.
Matt’s Rating: 7 out of 10
My Rating: 1 out of 10
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
I’m sorry, but Hunter S. Thompson is a hack. He used his whole career to shape “gonzo journalism,” and what bothers me more than his fake journalism is that people believed him. Would you really rely on the work of a journalist who loads up on cocaine before heading into the office? And that’s precisely why this script fails. It is moronic. Terry Gilliam‘s visual style works for this movie, but what’s so great about seeing alligators playing poker? I have friends who’ve tripped on acid and they say they’ve never seen anything like that. It’s hard to say Johnny Depp over acted, since that was a requirement for the role, but it was just annoying. The whole movie was a flop.
Brian’s rating: 8 out of 10
My rating: 3 out of 10
I remember when my brother came up to me, beyond excited, exclaiming that “Titanic” was the greatest movie ever made and that he’s never seen anything like it. He insisted on going again and taking me. He explained that it was of vital importance that I see this movie. It was one of those movies that would change my life. Instead, I was forced to endure more than three hours of the corniest dialogue and acting I had seen in a long time. Look, the third act is powerful, but there’s a reason for it. It’s all action. The actors can’t trip over the terrible dialogue and each others’ wooden performances. Director James Cameron knows special effects and little else. There are some truly laughable moments, like when Leonardo DiCaprio’s character is handcuffed to a pipe and Kate Winslet goes to look for something to cut him free, and he says, “I’ll be right here!” Where the hell else was he going?
Brian’s rating: 10 out of 10
My rating: 4 out of 10
The Devil’s Rejects
This movie should have been called “The Devil’s Retards.” This is another one of those movies where Brian approached me with bounding enthusiasm. He literally said: “Rob Zombie is the future of Hollywood. He will represent the next great generation of directors.” That’s a huge endorsement. And no, I’m not joking when I quote him. He really said that. So I ran to rent “The Devil’s Rejects” expecting to see the next Kubrick or Kirosawa. Instead, I sat through 109 minutes of pure crap. Wretched acting (he needs to stop putting his wife in all his movies because she can’t act), laughable dialogue, and special effects that look like a high school audio-visual club pieced it together. On top of that, this movie is a sequel! Lions Gate dished out $7 million on this piece of crap — which is nothing, I know. But Rob Zombie is the last guy I’d give $7 million. This is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen.
Brian’s rating: 8 out of 10
My rating: 1 out of 10