After moving to Beijing with his mother, Dre (Jaden Smith) falls prey to a bully, so he takes lessons from martial arts master Mr. Han (Jackie Chan) in this remake of The Karate Kid. While Mr. Han teaches Dre to defend himself, he also imparts some important life lessons. Meanwhile, Dre struggles with the unfamiliar language and cultural barriers he encounters in his new country. Taraji P. Henson co-stars. Directed by Harald Zwart (Pink Panther 2).
Rating: 2 out of 10
I hate movie remakes. If a movie was really good the first time, there’s no reason whatsoever to make it again. If it sucked, there’s no reason to remake it, either. They almost never work out and do nothing but cause us to embrace the original that much more. The first time I saw the poster for “The Karate Kid” starring Will Smith’s kid Jaden, I could feel the tinge of vomit forming in the back of my throat. The original Karate Kid is a classic. It was about friendship, loyalty, and the belief that you can accomplish anything. It had wonderful performances from Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita that were so likeable that they endear viewers to this day. This remake stars Jackie Chan, who’s more famous for his daredevil stunts than his acting. I’m assuming he was added for star power because he emotes about as well as a dry stone. In fact, there is one scene where he cries and it looks like they applied wet drops to his eyes to create the effect. The starring role by Jaden Smith is a clunky mess. He handles the physical stuff fine but anytime he speaks he comes across as a cocky and annoying little brat. This is where the film completely fails. You can’t build an entire movie around rooting for the underdog when you can’t stand him.
So, what’s different in this film? Well, for one the fight scenes are exaggerated and unrealistic. These preteens kick harder than Chuck Norris on his meanest day. In an early scene, Jaden Smith gets beat up, (I was rooting for the bully by the way) and kicked and punched so hard and so many times a grown adult would have been in the ICU. He just gets up, goes home, and applies makeup to his eye so his mother can’t tell he got his ass kicked. Also, during the tournament at the end of the film, the moves executed by 12 year olds would knock out MMA fighters. It’s just ridiculous and laughable.
In closing, watch the original again and ignore this awful remake. Oh, and if it wasn’t nauseating enough to sit through this piece of shit, during the end credits we’re treated to a bunch of on the set pictures with Jaden and his father and mother who wasn’t even in the fucking movie! Seriously, is this not the most arrogant and annoying family in entertainment history? Isn’t it bad enough that Will Smith makes shitty movies? Now his kid stars in a remake of one of the best kids’ films ever and we have to see a Smith family photo album while we sit disgusted. Ugh………..feeling the tinge in my throat again.