Super Mario Bros.

Brooklyn plumbers Mario (Bob Hoskins) and Luigi (John Leguizamo) are about to be shut down by a shady construction company, and when the firm’s henchmen see that Luigi has fallen for a young student named Daisy (Samantha Mathis), they kidnap her — and take her to another dimension. Vowing to track her down, the boys soon find themselves trapped in a bizarre parallel world ruled by a dinosaur-like despot named King Koopa (Dennis Hopper).

Rating: 4 out of 10

There are some truly, horrifyingly terrible moments in this movie that make my skin feel like it’s tightening slowly over my skeletal system. On the other hand, there were some truly funny scenes, and scenes so bad they were laughably enjoyable.

There’s a difference between a movie that is just pure crap, like “The Garbage Pail Kids Movie,” and one that is hilarious, like “The Room.” “Super Mario Bros.,” which boasts a shockingly talented cast for a children’s movie of this low caliber, is somewhere in between the laughably-bad scale.

This film has none of the charm of the famous Nintendo title. Yoshi, a green little smiling dinosaur in the game, looks like a mini T-Rex. And it’s pretty violent for a kid’s flick. Yoshi gets stabbed in the neck, a lady get electrocuted, and people are getting warped by all kinds of weaponry.

There’s a plot in there somewhere about a our world and a parallel universe where it developed from lizards instead of apes, and the Mario Bros. get sucked into it by a magic vortex, meet the evil King Koopa who wants to merge the worlds and turn all the humans back into apes. There’s also some king who was morphed into a fungus that helps the brothers along the way. All in all, this is a wretched turd.


22 responses to “Super Mario Bros.

  1. I agree with you to an extent. In my opinion, this is a pretty good interpretation and manipulation GIVEN THE STORY. Just think about it. Who would’ve thought that Italian plumbers, dinosaurs, fungus, fireball shooting, etc. to be the basis for a game, or a film for that matter!

    I think this film accurately depicts a game of this type. My point: some films belong in the B-movie category. Kind of like my ‘Punisher’ theory.

  2. Your website sucks and so does this horrible review

  3. this ish available on Blue Ray?

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  6. Erik, I doubt it’s on blu-ray, but you can rent it on Netflix. That’s where I got it.

    CHAD, thank you for reading.

    Kyle, please review “Punisher.”

  7. I’m sorry, but this is a pretty terrible review. You hardly go into anything at all, instead choosing to resort to bashing the film. It’s a much better flick that deserves more than that.

    It’s an amazingly fun movie with a lot of work put into it. Great actors, great creatures, and all-around great concept.

  8. Hi Steven,

    I appreciate your enthusiasm for the film. But, it’s a bad movie. I enjoyed it for what it is. But in the end, this is not a good film. Citizen Kane, it ain’t. In fact, if you want to look at the children’s genre, there are hundreds of better children’s movies. This movie has no heart. It looks neat, but it’s bad.

    Bob Hoskins, who played Mario, said it was the worst thing he ever did. In an interview with The Guardian, he said: “The worst thing I ever did? Super Mario Brothers. It was a f***in’ nightmare. The whole experience was a nightmare. It had a husband-and-wife team directing, whose arrogance had been mistaken for talent. After so many weeks their own agent told them to get off the set! F***in’ nightmare. F***in’ idiots.”

    • Movie Brothers,

      I feel that Super Mario Bros. is not a bad film at all. It has its problems, but overall it’s a good movie with a lot of what you say it doesn’t have: heart. If you knew as much about the production as I do you’d agree with me. The cast & crew had so much fun making that movie and were constantly improvising new moments for the film because it was such a cool concept.

      Bob Hoskins may feel that way now but we know that he had a decent enough time during the making-of. There’s also plenty of cast & crew that say it was either one of their favorite movies to work on the their actual favorite.

    • Fair enough. Feel free to register to our forum and post your review, if you’re interested. We welcome the discussion.

  9. Chad, your comment sucks and you don’t even have a website. 🙂
    Have a nice day!

    • And you don’t have one either… So… Hypocritical much?
      Can’t call someone out for not having a website when you don’t either… As if it mattered…
      I may not have a website, but atleast I’m not a hypocrit.

  10. I think everyone needs to sit down, watch the movie, and realize that it is NOT a kid’s movie. It may have been made to be somewhat acceptable for children, but just because there is no foul language doesn’t make it a kid’s movie.
    This movie took the Mario Bros universe, and made it real, they had limitations of course, but you can see the influence of Mario 1-3 even though Mario 2 was just a reskinned port of another game.
    The movie itself is a FANTASTIC movie, the acting, story, characters and emotions will leave most adult women teary eyed. If you came into this movie expecting the Super Mario Super Show… Then you should probably take a nap, read a book, and come back to it with logic and common sense, fantastic movie.

    • They even made the gigantic fish from the game into a spike wearing female bouncer, Big Bertha. We even have some Koopa Kids, Spike and Iggy. We also have Daisy, Luigi’s love interest as opposed to Peach, Mario’s… I feel the movie was very well done and will remain one of my all time favorites. For a video game movie, this is probably the best.
      They even tried to stay realistically close to the game, the high jumping is achieved by special boots, the fungus king is very reminiscent of the kings in Super Mario 3 being transformed by King Koopa. I don’t think there could have possibly been a better live action Super Mario movie regardless of who made it, nobody wants to see The Super Mario Bros Super Show in movie form, we want to see an interpretation that is linked to the story and remains fresh.

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