The Ten Worst Movies We’ve Ever Seen

Our two-year anniversary has passed. It’s hard to believe it’s gone by so quickly, and it’s even harder to fathom how quickly our site has grown. We never thought when we started that we’d be getting thousands upon thousands of readers and listeners. We humbly thank you all for reading.

And with that said, here’s the crappiest list of movies we could conjure! We’ve been cutting movies from our original list of 45 of the Worst Movies Ever Made until we came down to to these ten prize-winning pigs. Here are the movies that didn’t make the grade… or did? We’re not sure. They all suck so much that we’re not even ranking them. Instead, we’re simply naming these The Ten Worst Movies Ever Made:

Troll 2: There’s a great documentary based on this film called “Best Worst Movie.” This is a cult favorite, because it’s so horrendously bad, but I don’t see the appeal movies of similar ilk, like “Rocky Horror Picture Show.” This is pure crap, with no redeeming qualities in a movie packed with… nothing?

Pearl Harbor: In this reviewer’s humble opinion, the worst film ever made. It takes every possible misstep that a bad movie could possibly make. A stupid and pointless story? Yup! A boring and incomprehensible love triangle? You bet! A huge budget wasted by rudderless direction and bad acting? Of course! If there is one movie I wish I could bleach from my brain so that I couldn’t remember the horrible experience, this would be it!
Jaws: The Revenge: I can’t think of a series that nose dived more sequel to sequel than the Jaws series. The original Jaws is in our top 10 films of all time and its last sequel is in our top 10 worst. This film should never have been made. I can’t even imagine what morons were at the original pitch meeting that green lit this fucking mess. “Ok, we’re going to have a killer shark that is pissed at the Brody family and wants revenge.” What?!?! A vengeful shark that targets a specific family?!?! What were they thinking????

Batman & Robin
Only a film this horrible could have shut down what was, up until then, one of the biggest and profitable franchises in film history. Its visual look could be described as Gotham City if the entire area was one big gay nightclub. It contains the worst dialogue in film history, the worst acting in a comic book film ever, and the dumbest script ever! I would have said this was the worst film I’ve ever seen except that Pearl Harbor tries to recreate a pivotal point in history. This hunk of crap is at least an isolated work of fiction.
 
The Garbage Pail Kids MovieOffensive in every meaning of the word. It’s disgusting, full of awful acting, voiceover work, special effects, terrible, horrible awful writing that makes you angry when you watch it. Some bad movies are laughable, but this is just in bad taste. I know, it’s a movie about Garbage Pail Kids. What would you expect? Well, maybe something resembling a movie. 

Battlefield Earth: If this is where becoming a scientologist leads you, give back the $240 initiation fee that their church charges to join (if you don’t believe me, click here). John Travolta’s dedication to one of L.Ron Hubbard’s stupid and shitty novels led him to make this horrendous piece of crap. It’s one of those movies that is so horrible that you actually feel nauseous while you’re watching it even when nothing gross is on screen. 

RampageAn embarrassment to human decency. If you’re going to make a film about a psycho who goes on a bombastic murder spree gunning down innocents, shouldn’t the characters’ motivations and psychological well being be the centerpieces of the film? Well, according to schlock director Uwe Boll, no! His idea is to have the violence be the center. Why? Cause it’s just so bad ass to see a guy in full body armor walk into public places and murder innocent civilians. What a disgustingly stupid waste of time. 

Mannequin 2: On The Move: I have no idea what they were thinking when they wrote this movie. The first one had some campy charm, but this lacks all soul, brevity and whit the first one had. There’s some story about a wizard and a princess frozen in time… blah blah. It’s just a movie that falls flat on it’s face. Wooden in more ways than one.
 
Show GirlsThis movie almost made us hate boobs… Almost. There are so many horrible moments, but I think the worst is the fish flopping sex scene. It’s just mind-boggling how someone could put this to celluloid and think it was good. This movie takes itself seriously. It thinks it’s a real movie, which is what makes it bad. If it was just a campy booby movie, it wouldn’t be on the list. But they actually thought they were making a real movie.
 

Mac and Me: As film critic Chris Hicks of The Desert News said: “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a movie that is as crass a 90-minute commercial as Mac and Me.” This is a movie that rips off E.T., with a homesick alien and a boy trying to get him home, but with more product placements than you can shake a stick at. The alien needs Coca-Cola to stay alive, and Ronald McDonald is a supporting cast member. Horrendously unoriginal and lacks any artistic integrity.

Advertisements

24 responses to “The Ten Worst Movies We’ve Ever Seen

  1. while I will agree all of these movies are absolute garbage. I think your missing some classic trash. Your missing Manos: the hands of fate as well as the beast of yucca flats and of course the always terrible red zone cuba. Another i just thought of would be the castle of fu manchu. these movies are so bad that you should get a shirt just for watching them that says ” I survived ( insert title) “. But in any case still a good list of some awful movies.

    • Remember, these were the worst movies we’ve ever seen. I’m sure those movies would have made the list, if we saw them. We haven’t seen any of those. But thanks for reading! Now I have to go see them!

  2. Don’t disagree with anything on this list, that fish sex scene thing off show girls was put up in a lecture hall projector in my uni by a student an it was the funniest thing I have ever seen on a projector xD

  3. I’m a girl and I have a guilty pleasure love of Showgirls, there’s just something so watchable about it, the sex scene is a car crash from which I can’t look away. Mac and Me is the WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME! And I think it hates handicapped people. I mean the poor kid in the wheelchair gets thrown off a cliff and literally blown up and LIVES! The alien brings him back from the dead, yet still keeps him disabled….that just makes the alien a dick! Worst movie!

  4. I agree with most of your films,except one,Show girls,I think the directors of this film intended it to be tongue and cheek,I think some of the acting is questionable which maybe makes the movie dip,but Ive always enjoyed the movie(since my teen’s) for the obvious reasons and the fact that it is a funny film.

  5. kidmiracleshitter

    Battlefield Earth was so rough, I had to have a chat with the theater manager. Sadly, Mac and Me isn’t even the worst E.T ripoff, that honor goes to 1988’s Nukie. 1978’s Matilda gives Garbage Pail Kids the movie a run for the money for being a piece of shit on every level. Robert Mitchum and Eliot Gould are in charge of a boxing kangaroo.
    Great article guys, I certainly agree with the choices and had fun reading this series.

    • Oh my God! I just googled Matilda. I can’t believe how wretched that looks! I never saw it, so, it couldn’t make the list. But OMG. I think I have to watch that now out of morbid curiosity. Thanks for reading the series! We had a blast putting it together.

      Here’s a montage of footage from Matilda.

  6. I wonder what’s going on at the Taco Bell down the street.

  7. Pingback: Mac and Me: A manifesto | The Movie Brothers

  8. The Prince of Corn Flakes

    I have two movies you should add to this list: ROTOR and Possession:Until Death Do You Part. These two “films” are so godawful they would give Mac and Me and Nukie a run for their money. Have you ever seen them? If you dont believe me, check them out, they are that bad. By the way, I agree with this list, but there are still so many atrocious flicks out there, especially in the last decade and even in this decade. I dont think you can make a list big enough. Oh yeah, I forgot another crappy movie: Bebe’s Kids. nuff said

  9. haha! R.O.T.O.R looks awful

    Remember, these were the worst movies we’ve ever seen. We can imagine there’s worse, but it’s hard.

  10. Prince of Corn Flakes

    Yeah, I actually managed to sit through ROTOR in its entirety. The “actors” voices are dubbed over (why?), all of the dialogue in this movie makes no sense, and the ending makes less than no sense. As for Possession: Until Death Do You Part, I forgot to tell you that there are no Youtube videos or clips of that movie. So not only is it horrifically bad, it’s also obscure. I will tell you this, there are three things that make Possession such a stupid film: the lamest killer in all of slasher movie history, and can somehow be in two different places at once. Secondly, when the killer tries to get away in a wooden boat, a cop shoots his WOODEN boat and it EXPLODES…..(the killer somehow survives), and lastly, male strippers. Most of the main cast are female, but still didnt need to see a bunch of Chippendale dancers. Most awful movie of all time. You can watch the full ROTOR movie on Youtube, if youre up to it. It’s so bad you cant help but laugh at it

  11. Pingback: The Ten Greatest Directors Part 1 | The Movie Brothers

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s