Category Archives: Movie Camp

heckler

heckler2

Matt
Rating: 8 out of 10

Do I have the right to review a film or have a movie blog? Yes I do, and the answer is simple: because I exist.

My only rub with this film is Jamie Kennedy complains that movie bloggers and posters of the interwebs trash him. He gets offended and wonders why a nobody can tear him and his films apart. But just as he has the right to take the stage as a comic or star in a film, we have the right to hate on his work.

That said — it’s really my only complaint about this film. Kennedy went to great lengths to interview a host of comedians, actors and performers who shared some really great stories and insights on heckling. I’m sure hecklers have existed since the Romans battled gladiators, and this film sheds some great light on an awkward social faux  pas. We’ve all experienced it, whether it’s at a movie or at a comedy club, that jerk yelling remarks from the back. It’s hard enough to make people laugh, but it’s just painful when a heckler verbally assaults a comic. There are some really great interview with comedians in “Heckler,” from David Cross and Louie Anderson to Bill Maher, and it’s really fun to hear their stories. It’s also interesting to see how hard it can be on them. More than I anticipated.

It was also funny to watch Kennedy interview a really awkward blogger who absolutely vomitted all over his work. However, as annoying as that guy is, he deserves a voice. It’s just not as annoying as the guy shouting from the back of the theater. And Kennedy interviews that guy, too. This is an often hilarious and insightful documentary that’s definitely worth a watch.

Top Ten Horror Movie Villains

Talk about a killer list! This was a tough Top 10 to create. So many great horror movie icons didn’t make the list — Norman Bates, zombies, Frankenstein, the wolfman, Ghostface, and so many more! Enjoy this haunting list of baddies, just in time for Halloween.

10. Chucky
Great character made even greater by the excellent voice acting of the Academy Award-nominated Brad Dourif.

9. Alien
Based on the artwork of H.R. Geiger, this moving falace with acid blood and razor teeth has haunted many a sci-fi fan’s nightmares. The sequel is even better than the original.

8. Jigsaw
Legendary baddie by default based on the sheer amount of sequels. The first in the series is the real gem and they get progressively worse as they go — as is the case with most horror movies. But he’s always creepy.


7.
 Leatherface
The first film is considered by many to be the greatest grindhouse movie ever made. I can’t disagree. The fear is all the more palpable because of this terrifying character based off a real serial killer named Ed Gein.

6. Jason Voorhees
A derivative character that shares more than a few characteristics with Michael Myers: slow, brooding, speechless, and psychotic. The only problem is he’s not the original killer in the series and he didn’t obtain his distinctive look until the third film. Also, these movies are of inferior quality to the other slasher films.

5. Hannibal Lecter
Hannibal The Canibal is certainly one of the most iconic and chilling characters. He’s dastardly, wicked, smart, disgusting, perverse and vile in every way. And Anthony Hopkins played him to perfection in his Academy Award-winning performance. A sinister, evil character to the core.

4. Dracula
Dracula has been portrayed in countless ways and featured in films made throughout the world, from an axe-wieding Abraham Lincoln to the chilling silent German film “Nosferatu.” He’s an icon of horror that has chilled audiences the world round, and his tale will live on eternally.

3. Freddy Krueger
Freddy is an incredible concept — a demon-like man who haunts your dreams, a child molester who transformed into something greater after being burned alive by angered parents. He’s a bad, bad man who has taken many forms in countless sequels, and Robert Englund brought great energy and charisma to this unique villain that will forever stand as one of the greatest.

2. Satan
He’s the source of all evil, and Satan has been portrayed in countless films. He’s not the first baddie that pops in your mind when it comes to horror, but think about it — The Exorcist, The Omen, Rosemary’s Baby, Angel Heart, The Devils, and the list goes on. The definition of evil and a source of material that will forever inspire filmmakers.

1. Michael Myers
Worse than Satan? Well, maybe not. But he is the king of all slasher movie killers. Michael Myers was born evil and killed from his youth and was one of the first characters to explore the concept that some killers are just born that way. The first two Halloween movies stand as the best slasher movies of all time and Michael Myers is the reason. He’s a ruthless killer and the face of horror movies.

House at the End of the Street

Moving to a new town proves even more stressful for a teenage girl when she learns that the house next door was the site of a double murder. But after making friends with the victims’ son, she realizes there may be more to the story.

Matt
Rating: 5 out of 10

This is a decent little suspense movie. I thought it was going to be a total teen flick, like Jennifer Lawrence did with “The Hunger Games.” But it was slightly better. Not great, but OK.

New girl moves to town, there’s a creepy kid at the end of the street and they become friends. She’s intrigued by him, he’s mysterious, sensitive and they develop a friendship and romance. But things start going awry. He has a sad past, his sister killed their family and he still lives in that house. But dark clues start to bloom up around him.

The movie’s really not all that bad, but it suffers from a majorly slow period mid-way through the film and the ending is a little predictable. Lawrence is very solid as the lead, and she’s a talented actress who has great range. But in the end, this is a forgettable flick.

Don’t Go Into The Woods

A young band heads to the woods in order to focus on writing new songs. Hoping to emerge with new music that will score them their big break, they instead find themselves in the middle of a nightmare beyond comprehension.

Matt
Rating: 2 out of 10

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: A bunch of hipsters go into the woods to make a musical horror movie…

No, it’s not a joke, it’s real. It’s a genuine effort by Vincent D’Onofrio to make a slasher flick that doubles as a genuine musical, chock full o’ tunes… like a jillion songs. This has more songs than “Fiddler on the Roof” and “Singin’ In the Rain” combined. The victims are literally breaking into song as they’re being sliced and diced.

Vincent D’Onofrio, who is a talented actor, wrote and directed this flick, which I have to guess was a labor of love that he made for a dime with no-name actors. There are a couple tunes that weren’t bad, but they couldn’t make up for bad acting, poor special effects, a lackluster villain, a laughable presentation, and even worse premise. It would be one thing if this was all done with tongue in cheeck as a campy movie, but it’s not. It’s dead serious about being a horror flick and a musical.

This movie is really just a joke.

Casa de mi Padre


Will Ferrell stars as a Spanish-speaking cowboy in this comedy about a Mexican clan trying to rescue their ranch from greedy creditors. When his brother can’t save the day, the simple but noble ranch hand takes on a powerful drug lord.

Matt
Rating: 5 out of 10

In theory, I should love this film: Will Farrell stars in a Spanish-language film that lampoons old Mexican movies in a campy romp. In reality, it just kind of fell flat for me.

There were a couple really funny moments where I laughed hard. There’s a very amusing love scene with some uncomfortable close-ups of Farrell’s posterior. It had me cracking up. But a lot of this movie just didn’t go anywhere, or meandered. There weren’t enough jokes.

This movie does succeed in where Farrell is great as a comedic actor, and that’s character development. In Anchor Man, his character Ron Burgundy has layers of character, and the title roles in this film are given that same treatment. But in the end, the execution fell far short of the premise.

No Retreat, No Surrender

Jason Stillwell, a Bruce Lee fan, is beaten numerous times and trains from the ghost of Lee. Jason then must use his newly acquired skills to save Seattle from a crime syndicate, whose top martial artist is the deadly Ivan

Matt
Rating: 2 out of 10

Sometimes it’s hard to tell where terrible movie begins, and movie camp ends. Such is the case with “No Retreat, No Surrender.”

This is truly a laughably bad movie. A boy’s father has his dojo taken from him, they split town to Seattle, only to find he runs into trouble with local kids. Stop me if you’ve heard this one… cough… Karate Kid… cough. So he takes up karate lessons with the ghost of Bruce Lee after visiting his grave and begging him for guidance. Yup, couldn’t make this up.

Throw in terrible acting, unfocused directing, and a love story wedged in with a montage of corny cliches, and you have a mess of a movie. No bad movie would be complete without a stereotypical, token black best friend who raps and break dances, a fat bully who shovels down burgers and cake, along with a Russian bad guy played by Jean Claud Van Dam who he fights in an anti-climactic ending. It’s the perfect a wretched movie that jumps the boundaries of skill and storytelling into a place where there is a complete lack of imagination and narrative.

There are moments that are really funny because of how bad they are, especially when the token black friend busts some cheesy-ass rhymes while the scene cuts to break-dancing sequences that obviously use a dance double. This is the poor man’s “Karate Kid,” without any endearing qualities. I with  I could give “No Retreat, No Surrender” a roundhouse kick to the face.

Midnight in Paris

In this charming romantic comedy, legendary director Woody Allen focuses his lens on an engaged young couple whose experiences traveling together in Paris make them begin to question the kind of life they want to live.

Matt
Rating: 8 out of 10

There are few scribes like Woody Allen. And while you can point to his typical formula in this film — his constant scratching at the subject of love and finding happiness — there is a wealth of imagination and creativity. He certainly hasn’t lost his touch.

Allen wrangles an immensely talented cast with a script that weaves time travel, humor, romance, and beautiful cinematography of Paris. It’s absolutely sublime.  Owen Wilson plays a typical Allen character, a writer in a relationship he’s not really satisfied with in search of a deeper existence. Rachel McAdams plays his fiancee, a tart who doesn’t really like Wilson’s artsy, eyes-open-wide view of the world. At midnight, Wilson takes a stroll and is somehow transported back to the ’30s. While he’s there, he meets the legends of the time in writing and music, along with Adriana, a flapper girl played by the enchanting Marion Cotillard.

What follows is a series of Wilson popping back and forth between decades, trying to figure out his relationship, pursue Adriana, all while working on a novel and dealing with his crazy, annoying future in-laws. And in the background, that constant yearning for a greater, more meaningful life. This is a wonderful script by Allen, who won the Academy Award for his efforts. “Midnight in Paris” stands tall in Allen’s collection of incredible films.

“Mac and Me” – A Manifesto

Hi all you readers in the interwebs, I’m Kristen, founder of the Journeys in Classic Film blog and I’m hear to discuss a film that holds a place in my heart, whether I like it or not.

I was honored and humbled when I was contacted by the eponymous The Movie Brothers to break down my hatred of the film Mac and Me, a movie they deemed “worthy” of being one of the ten worst movies they’ve ever seen.  I seconded that notion heartily as I, too, have seen the utter shit that is Mac and Me.  I originally saw this 1988 E.T. rip-off when doing a commentary track for my now defunct film podcast.  A listener had said there was no movie worth discussing more than this film.  I’ve seen bad movies before but I had never seen anything as bad as this film.  Mac and Me will make you question life, love, Hollywood, and your very sanity.  The story of a small boy and the bug-eyed dumpster baby (or alien as the box claims) that hang out together is an abomination to film and all that it stands for!

The movie tells the story of Eric (Jade Calegory), a young boy in a wheelchair who recently moves to a new house.  Once there he meets an alien running away from NASA and separated from his parents.  As Eric and the alien try to find the missing alien parents and escape NASA the audience questions: “Why is McDonalds so prevalent,” “Why does this kid never see the alien standing right in front of him…is he blind, too?”  And the biggest query of them all: “Who the bloody hell is Mac?”

Director, screenwriter, best boy; no one can answer the immortal question: Who or what is Mac?  IMDb tries to answer the question with the name “Mysterious Alien Creature,” but you can tell whoever’s writing the synopsis isn’t sure because they add (Mac?) into the very synopsis!  Yes, the IMDb plotline to this movie has more guesses than a Wikipedia page.  The movie was a blatant attempt to rip-off E.T. and is filled to the gills with product placement, predominately for McDonalds.  Don’t believe me?  Check out the break dancing scene at a McDonalds.  I’ve been to many a McDonalds and have never seen anyone break-dance, nor have been inclined to break-dance.  Personally, who the hell eats in a McDonald’s anymore?  I know, I know, this is 1988 but they still had drive-thrus!  It’s not like McDonalds is the go-to place to have a step up dance party…everyone knows you do that at IHOP!

There’s a LOT I could complain about in regards to this film but I doubt my kind editors on this site want me to fill up a book.  There’s the whole plotline about the aliens wandering for forty years in the desert (oh they aren’t…they’re just stupid) or the fact that Mac looks like a weird mutant baby out of the Hills Have Eyes, nope my problem is in the main character of little Eric.  I do applaud the movie – yes I just said applaud, stop laughing – for hiring a genuinely disabled actor for this film.  So many movies put Tom Cruise in a wheelchair and expect you to believe him so it’s refreshing to see a person in a wheelchair truly be in a wheelchair…..but what they do to this poor boy is disgusting.

First of all, I myself am in a wheelchair so I consider myself an “expert” on how to treat a disabled person.  I don’t think throwing a kid in a wheelchair off a MOTHER****ING cliff is the way to sell your movie to kids!  Seriously, there’s a scene where the kid goes rolling down the world’s biggest hill, off a cliff into a body of water.  Let’s break this down.  He’s rolling down the smoothest grassy hill in the world.  I’ve rolled down many a hill, and there’s always twigs, grass, or you know, a fricking rock to at least slow you down or tip the chair over.  Nope, this kid’s going down Lombard Street apparently because it’s a smoothest descent.  Next the kid tries to put on his brakes and they snap off like a toothpick.  Wheelchairs have metal breaks so if these are snapping off I’d be suing the manufacturer of this chair right off the bat for shoddy merchandise.  Then, he falls off a cliff that’s easily a 50 foot drop.  Don’t ask how a residential area has a grassy hill that leads to barren, jagged quarry, but hey, must have had good rental rates.  The kid falls into a body of water and should be dead.  Not sputtering water, not flailing for help. Dead.  Joining the choir invisible dead, pushing up the daises dead!  He should be an EX-PERSON!  But no, Mac saves Eric.  Mac sees Eric going down the hill and instead of trying to make any attempt to save him mid-push he waits to save him after Eric has been thrown from his wheelchair to his death.

Okay so we have that fun ride what about the end?  Well there’s a big to-doinvolving guns and a convenience store, but it all culminates with Eric wheeling to save Mac and the building blows up!  Did this movie just blow up a handicapped child?!  Yes, they did.  But no, he’s not charred to a crisp, skin flaking off him like ashes.  He’s not even bleeding.  He’s just limp.  So what does Mac do….he wakes him up.  Apparently, Mac has the ability to heal people (you know, like E.T.!) and saves Eric.  Here’s my problem….Mac has the ability to resurrect the dead, therefore he should be able to fix any damaged cells that person has, including the damaged cells responsible for Eric’s disability!  So either Mac either possess crappy alien powers, or he’s just a total dick.  If I woke up after being brought back from the dead and was still in a wheelchair I’d be stabbing that bastard alien and asking why he didn’t just let me die!  God or whoever wouldn’t have stuck me in this chair for eternity — isn’t that what they say!  No, some douchey alien has to bring the poor kid back and say “Sorry, my power only works at 80%…but hey welcome back to Earth!”  Mac is a tool and if Eric were smart he’d give the alien to NASA with his well wishes “feel free to torture him till his bug eyes pop out.”

I’ve only touched the surface of why Mac and Me is so heinous!  I didn’t even discuss the pro-immigration stance the movie takes at the very end with the naturalization of Mac and his parents.  Yes the term “illegal alien” is taken literally.  Mac and Me is crap on another level.  I love a lot of bad movies but after watching this I wanted to take a shower and sell my soul to the Devil to remove the knowledge of this film from my brain.  If you watch it, I urge you to draw up a will, it would honestly not surprise me to hear that this movie kills people like cigarettes.  Mac and Me is making Battleship look like Citizen Kane.  Thanks again Movie Brothers to letting me unburden myself!

The Ten Worst Movies We’ve Ever Seen

Our two-year anniversary has passed. It’s hard to believe it’s gone by so quickly, and it’s even harder to fathom how quickly our site has grown. We never thought when we started that we’d be getting thousands upon thousands of readers and listeners. We humbly thank you all for reading.

And with that said, here’s the crappiest list of movies we could conjure! We’ve been cutting movies from our original list of 45 of the Worst Movies Ever Made until we came down to to these ten prize-winning pigs. Here are the movies that didn’t make the grade… or did? We’re not sure. They all suck so much that we’re not even ranking them. Instead, we’re simply naming these The Ten Worst Movies Ever Made:

Troll 2: There’s a great documentary based on this film called “Best Worst Movie.” This is a cult favorite, because it’s so horrendously bad, but I don’t see the appeal movies of similar ilk, like “Rocky Horror Picture Show.” This is pure crap, with no redeeming qualities in a movie packed with… nothing?

Pearl Harbor: In this reviewer’s humble opinion, the worst film ever made. It takes every possible misstep that a bad movie could possibly make. A stupid and pointless story? Yup! A boring and incomprehensible love triangle? You bet! A huge budget wasted by rudderless direction and bad acting? Of course! If there is one movie I wish I could bleach from my brain so that I couldn’t remember the horrible experience, this would be it!
Jaws: The Revenge: I can’t think of a series that nose dived more sequel to sequel than the Jaws series. The original Jaws is in our top 10 films of all time and its last sequel is in our top 10 worst. This film should never have been made. I can’t even imagine what morons were at the original pitch meeting that green lit this fucking mess. “Ok, we’re going to have a killer shark that is pissed at the Brody family and wants revenge.” What?!?! A vengeful shark that targets a specific family?!?! What were they thinking????

Batman & Robin
Only a film this horrible could have shut down what was, up until then, one of the biggest and profitable franchises in film history. Its visual look could be described as Gotham City if the entire area was one big gay nightclub. It contains the worst dialogue in film history, the worst acting in a comic book film ever, and the dumbest script ever! I would have said this was the worst film I’ve ever seen except that Pearl Harbor tries to recreate a pivotal point in history. This hunk of crap is at least an isolated work of fiction.
 
The Garbage Pail Kids MovieOffensive in every meaning of the word. It’s disgusting, full of awful acting, voiceover work, special effects, terrible, horrible awful writing that makes you angry when you watch it. Some bad movies are laughable, but this is just in bad taste. I know, it’s a movie about Garbage Pail Kids. What would you expect? Well, maybe something resembling a movie. 

Battlefield Earth: If this is where becoming a scientologist leads you, give back the $240 initiation fee that their church charges to join (if you don’t believe me, click here). John Travolta’s dedication to one of L.Ron Hubbard’s stupid and shitty novels led him to make this horrendous piece of crap. It’s one of those movies that is so horrible that you actually feel nauseous while you’re watching it even when nothing gross is on screen. 

RampageAn embarrassment to human decency. If you’re going to make a film about a psycho who goes on a bombastic murder spree gunning down innocents, shouldn’t the characters’ motivations and psychological well being be the centerpieces of the film? Well, according to schlock director Uwe Boll, no! His idea is to have the violence be the center. Why? Cause it’s just so bad ass to see a guy in full body armor walk into public places and murder innocent civilians. What a disgustingly stupid waste of time. 

Mannequin 2: On The Move: I have no idea what they were thinking when they wrote this movie. The first one had some campy charm, but this lacks all soul, brevity and whit the first one had. There’s some story about a wizard and a princess frozen in time… blah blah. It’s just a movie that falls flat on it’s face. Wooden in more ways than one.
 
Show GirlsThis movie almost made us hate boobs… Almost. There are so many horrible moments, but I think the worst is the fish flopping sex scene. It’s just mind-boggling how someone could put this to celluloid and think it was good. This movie takes itself seriously. It thinks it’s a real movie, which is what makes it bad. If it was just a campy booby movie, it wouldn’t be on the list. But they actually thought they were making a real movie.
 

Mac and Me: As film critic Chris Hicks of The Desert News said: “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a movie that is as crass a 90-minute commercial as Mac and Me.” This is a movie that rips off E.T., with a homesick alien and a boy trying to get him home, but with more product placements than you can shake a stick at. The alien needs Coca-Cola to stay alive, and Ronald McDonald is a supporting cast member. Horrendously unoriginal and lacks any artistic integrity.

The Ten Worst Movies We’ve Ever Seen Part 4

Every day we’re cutting ten movies from our original list of 45 of the Worst Movies Ever Made until we’re down to ten. Brian and Matt will each chop five from the list.

Here are the movies that didn’t make the grade… or did? We’re not sure. They all suck, but they’re not going to make it to the ten worst ever.

Brian’s Vetoes

Transformers: Revenge of the FallenThis movie blows, plain and simple.  But, it mainly blows because of Michael Bay’s mechanical and emotionless direction.  The technical elements are quite good and the sound engineers were terrfic.  I know these are lame reasons but have you seen the other films left on the list?

DreamcatcherOne of the worst Stephen King adaptations ever but not the absolute worst.  That prestigious dishonor goes to Maximum Overdrive.  So, since that movie isn’t here, I’m removing Dreamcatcher.

The A-Team: This movie is god damn stupid.  It reminded me of those horrible Charlie’s Angels movies.  This was a simple process of elimination vote but I’m thrilled it made it this far.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II:The Secret of the Ooze: I almost eliminated this last round except I remembered that ninja rap song that Vanilla Ice performed near the end.  That was, in my opinion, the worst movie musical moment that has ever been printed to filom and that includes From justin to Kelly.  However, the movie is fairly faithful to its source material.

Leprechaun 4: In Space: It’s so stupid that it’s actually semi-amusing.  They didn’t take the material seriously and they got a shitty movie out of it.  The rest of flicks are worse.

Matt’s Vetoes

Leonard Part 6: Mind-numbingly bad. Bill Cosby is a talent, but he never made a good movie, and this is an example why. A futuristic time cop called from retirement? Ugh… terrible production. In TV land, he’s amazing and among the best, but here in Movie World, he’s the pits. Pudding pop, anyone?

Catwoman: There have been some bad comic book movies I think are worse, like “The Punisher” with Dolf Lundgren or “Daredevil” with Ben Affleck. This one is bad, but it slips by.

Cool As Ice: This movie was an insult to “Rebel Without a Cause.” I mean, a hip-hop version of the classic movie starring Vanilla Ice? I couldn’t have come up with that if I tried. But alas, there are worse movies on the list.

Weekend at Bernie’s II: The original was actually kind of funny, if you could separate yourself from the idea that two bumbling guys need to pretend their evil boss isn’t dead and use him in all kinds of goofy ways so they don’t get blamed for his death. But by the sequel, after the body has been through the ocean, dropped and stuffed in luggage, wouldn’t the corpse start to smell? Plus, the story just sucked this time around.

The Day After Tomorrow: Ugh, what a turd. But there are other epic disaster movies that are worse, including one left on this list.

MOVIES REMAINING ON OUR LIST:

Rampage
Mannequin 2: On The Move
Munchies
 Pearl Harbor
Jaws: The Revenge
Battlefield Earth
Batman & Robin
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie
Super Mario Bros.
Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
Caddy Shack 2
Troll 2
Mac and Me
Show Girls