Ravenous piranhas with razor-sharp teeth terrorize Lake Havasu vacationers in director Alexandre Aja’s 3-D remake of Joe Dante’s campy 1978 horror film, itself a satire of Steven Spielberg’s Jaws. When an earthquake tears open the bottom of Lake Havasu, schools of carnivorous piranhas are released from their underwater lair, and the lake turns into a bloody, frenzied death trap for unwitting water-goers.
Rating: 2 out of 10
I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during the script writing session for this film. I can just imagine a group of talentless hacks smiling and patting each other on the back after coming up with the brilliant scene of having piranha eat the genitalia off of a character and have the audience watch said genitalia float to the bottom of the river where two of the fish fight over what’s left of it……in 3-D!!!
Piranha 3-D is my pick so far for worst film of the year. It’s a completely brainless, boring, unfunny, and unscary attempt to cash in on the current fad of 3D movies adapted from old horror films. It’s 1 hour and 29 minutes and I’m not kidding when I say at least 45 minutes is dedicated to college kids on spring break being drunk and annoying. Normally this would irritate me enough to cheer whenever the killer shows up. In this case, the killer is CG fish and I didn’t give a shit about the characters being alive, dead, or out to lunch. This film gives them nothing to do that’s remotely interesting. They don’t even die interestingly!! Piranha show up and basically you just see mass chaos underwater followed by screaming and pools of blood. Zzzzzzz!!! Shit, almost fell asleep there. Let me finish this review before I pass out.
The quality of 3D is probably your next question since the only thing left is the novelty of that format. I’ll admit I love cheesy movies in 3D when they overuse the “pop out at you” gimmick but this film rarely does it and the effect just doesn’t immerse you any more than normal. I think the 3D fad, much like killer creatures in the water, has run its course.
Rating: 8 out of 10
Do I have the right to review a film or have a movie blog? Yes I do, and the answer is simple: because I exist.
My only rub with this film is Jamie Kennedy complains that movie bloggers and posters of the interwebs trash him. He gets offended and wonders why a nobody can tear him and his films apart. But just as he has the right to take the stage as a comic or star in a film, we have the right to hate on his work.
That said — it’s really my only complaint about this film. Kennedy went to great lengths to interview a host of comedians, actors and performers who shared some really great stories and insights on heckling. I’m sure hecklers have existed since the Romans battled gladiators, and this film sheds some great light on an awkward social faux pas. We’ve all experienced it, whether it’s at a movie or at a comedy club, that jerk yelling remarks from the back. It’s hard enough to make people laugh, but it’s just painful when a heckler verbally assaults a comic. There are some really great interview with comedians in “Heckler,” from David Cross and Louie Anderson to Bill Maher, and it’s really fun to hear their stories. It’s also interesting to see how hard it can be on them. More than I anticipated.
It was also funny to watch Kennedy interview a really awkward blogger who absolutely vomitted all over his work. However, as annoying as that guy is, he deserves a voice. It’s just not as annoying as the guy shouting from the back of the theater. And Kennedy interviews that guy, too. This is an often hilarious and insightful documentary that’s definitely worth a watch.
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Tagged Andy Milonakis, Bill Maher, Christa Campbel, Cinema, comedian, comedians, comedy, craig ferguson, Dave Attell, David Cross, documentary, documentary film, Eli Roth, Film, Fred Willard, George Lucas, Harland Williams, Heckler, Henry Winkler, Howie Mande, Howie Mandel, Jamie Kennedy, Joe Rogan, Jon Lovitz, Judah Friedlander, lAndy Milonakis, Larry Flynt, Louie Anderson, lTom Green, Mike Ditka, Mike White, movie, movie review, Nick Swardson, Patton Oswalt, Paul F. Tompkins, Paul Rodriguez, Rob Zombie, Roseanne Barr, Son of The Mask, The Movie Brothers