House at the End of the Street

Moving to a new town proves even more stressful for a teenage girl when she learns that the house next door was the site of a double murder. But after making friends with the victims’ son, she realizes there may be more to the story.

Matt
Rating: 5 out of 10

This is a decent little suspense movie. I thought it was going to be a total teen flick, like Jennifer Lawrence did with “The Hunger Games.” But it was slightly better. Not great, but OK.

New girl moves to town, there’s a creepy kid at the end of the street and they become friends. She’s intrigued by him, he’s mysterious, sensitive and they develop a friendship and romance. But things start going awry. He has a sad past, his sister killed their family and he still lives in that house. But dark clues start to bloom up around him.

The movie’s really not all that bad, but it suffers from a majorly slow period mid-way through the film and the ending is a little predictable. Lawrence is very solid as the lead, and she’s a talented actress who has great range. But in the end, this is a forgettable flick.

Piranha 3-D

Ravenous piranhas with razor-sharp teeth terrorize Lake Havasu vacationers in director Alexandre Aja’s 3-D remake of Joe Dante’s campy 1978 horror film, itself a satire of Steven Spielberg’s Jaws. When an earthquake tears open the bottom of Lake Havasu, schools of carnivorous piranhas are released from their underwater lair, and the lake turns into a bloody, frenzied death trap for unwitting water-goers.

Brian
Rating: 2 out of 10

I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during the script writing session for this film. I can just imagine a group of talentless hacks smiling and patting each other on the back after coming up with the brilliant scene of having piranha eat the genitalia off of a character and have the audience watch said genitalia float to the bottom of the river where two of the fish fight over what’s left of it……in 3-D!!!

Piranha 3-D is my pick so far for worst film of the year. It’s a completely brainless, boring, unfunny, and unscary attempt to cash in on the current fad of 3D movies adapted from old horror films. It’s 1 hour and 29 minutes and I’m not kidding when I say at least 45 minutes is dedicated to college kids on spring break being drunk and annoying. Normally this would irritate me enough to cheer whenever the killer shows up. In this case, the killer is CG fish and I didn’t give a shit about the characters being alive, dead, or out to lunch. This film gives them nothing to do that’s remotely interesting. They don’t even die interestingly!! Piranha show up and basically you just see mass chaos underwater followed by screaming and pools of blood. Zzzzzzz!!! Shit, almost fell asleep there. Let me finish this review before I pass out.

The quality of 3D is probably your next question since the only thing left is the novelty of that format. I’ll admit I love cheesy movies in 3D when they overuse the “pop out at you” gimmick but this film rarely does it and the effect just doesn’t immerse you any more than normal. I think the 3D fad, much like killer creatures in the water, has run its course.

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Don McKay

At the urging of his ex-girlfriend, Sonny (Elisabeth Shue), who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, high school janitor Don McKay (Thomas Haden Church) returns to his hometown for the first time in 25 years and finds himself ensnared in a web of conspiracy, deception and murder. Melissa Leo (Frozen River), Keith David and M. Emmet Walsh also star in this indie thriller from first-time director Jake Goldberger.

Matt
4 out of 10

This is a movie with a great cast, excellent acting, a music score that turns your stomach with suspense, a director who uses the lens with forethought and grace, making scenes dark and sinister with anticipation. However, this movie suffers from a lousy script that keeps our interest, but only confuses and disappoints us at every turn.

Both Shue and Church are sharp and insightful in their roles. Shue’s plays her character well, who is absolutely insane, willing to sacrifice anything and anyone for money, fake illness, create detailed plots and murder. Church is stoic in his role as a quiet janitor with a questionable past who is getting swept up in a scam by his high school sweet heart he hasn’t seen since leaving town at age 18 after the death of his family in a fire.

There are some suspense-filled moments where it kept my interest, but the ending falls flatter than road kill. It didn’t care about the movie, the characters or plot.