Top 5 Worst Directors Working Today

Brian

There is no dearth of wretched films out there today and no shortage of directors more than happy to jump at the chance to make them. But these guys are the kings of pumping out drivel. It was tough, be we did it. Here are the Top 5 Worst directors working today.

 

This is really Paul W.S. Anderson with a Try Harder t-shirt on. We can't make this stuff up, people.

5. Paul W.S. Anderson: This is not to be confused with the brilliant Paul T. Anderson who directed “Boogie Nights.” Paul W.S. Anderson is one of the many shit directors that are hired to plug into a film because it has name recognition off the bat. He then takes the shitty and makes an even shittier movie.

Notable lowlights: Mortal Kombat, Aliens vs. Predator, and Resident Evil

 

Robbins on the set of "Norbit," the bomb he directed starring Eddie Murphy.

4. Brian Robbins: He’s current king of directing bad comedies. His schlock resume is an embarrassment to laughter and his skills behind a camera are legendarily bad. It’s a shame people like this continue to get work.

Notable lowlights: Norbit, Good Burger, Ready 2 Rumble, The Shaggy Dog remake and Meet Dave.

 

Same to you, Uwe. Same to you.

3. Uwe Bolle: The go-to-guy for creating movies out of video games and then making them tragically awful. Imagine taking the loosest and most inane plots in the world and figuring out ways to make it worse with jerky camerawork, terrible acting, and one horrible decision after another. All of his films are like horrendous 90-minute MTV videos.

Notable lowlights: House of the Dead, Bloodrayne, Bloodrayne 2, and Seed.

 

Roland Emmerich is below... or is it the top?

2. Roland Emmerich: I remember going to see “Independence Day” opening weekend. There was so much hype leading up to its release and the special effects shots looked great in the trailers. I’m sitting in the theater and the moment it starts going, I can still taste the disdain that I felt for Roland Emmerich. The best way to describe his movies is if someone took a lump of dog shit and wrapped it up in beautiful paper and tied it up with a silk bow. You see the package beforehand and you think, “I’ve got to get that.” Then, the horror you feel as you open that package and realize there’s nothing but a turd inside. Yep, screw you Roland!!

Notable lowlights: Godzilla, The Day After Tomorrow, Independence Day, 2012, 10,000 B.C.

Wow, another disaster movie from Emmerich… who would have thought?

1. Michael Bay is everything I hate about the movies. Big budget over-hyped empty shells of films with the weakest scripts imaginable and a ton of talent working behind the scenes. See, that’s the biggest problem with Michael Bay. His films cost between $100-200 million per flick which allows him to hire the best people that the film business can offer. And despite all these brilliant people around him, he is so disgustingly untalented that he manages to screw up every film he has ever made and reduced them to the laughing stocks that they are. He’s the worst director in the world and created the worst film I have ever seen in my life in “Pearl Harbor.”

Notable Lowlights:   Pearl Harbor, Transformers 1 and 2, Bad Boys 1 and 2, and Armageddon

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Awesomely sucky

This is an excellent short film on killing Michael Bay: