Insidious

After moving into a new home, Josh (Patrick Wilson) and his wife Renai (Rose Byrne) confront terrifying tribulations when their son Dalton (Ty Simpkins) falls into a coma and his body starts to attract malevolent forces from a mysterious netherworld. But when the family decides to move again, hoping to leave the evil spirits behind, they realize that their problems are just beginning. James Wan (Saw) directs.

Matt
Rating: 5 out of 10

The first hour of this movie was outstanding. One of the best horror films to come out in years. It had me jumping and nervous, and was a great date night movie that was intriguing, smart, well-paced with great performances and sharp direction.

The last act of the movie, however, took a huge nosedive. We are given the impression that a demon is after a little boy’s soul. We get narrow glimpses of him throughout the movie but never see him. It’s the Alfred Hitchcock theory that what the audience doesn’t see is what scares them the most. And it’s true.

In the last act, however, we get so much over-the-top demon, it just gets downright silly. It really stopped my viewing pleasure and made the whole thing seem silly. The ending is strong, and has a nice twist, but I was disinterested by the time it got there. It’s a shame, because this movie was so close to being amazing. Hard to say it’s anything better than average, though.

Heartless

Reclusive Londoner Jamie Morgan (Jim Sturgess), who bears a prominent, heart-shaped birthmark on his face yet can’t seem to find love anywhere, makes a deal with a devil-like figure to get a girl — but there’s a deadly price to pay. After his mother is murdered, the newspapers say thugs wearing devil masks committed the crime. But Jamie soon begins to suspect that they weren’t wearing masks at all.

Brian
Rating: 8 out of 10

“Love is only temporary but suffering is eternal.” -Papa B. in the film Heartless

Heartless is a very special film containing the most original visual work I have seen in a film since “Black Swan.” I love films where the camera is as much a character as the principle actors. Director Philip Ridley doesn’t just place actors on a set and have them exchange dialogue until they move onto the next scene. He paints a picture here that perfectly encapsulates the mood of each individual segment. When demons are lurking, committing atrocities, or tempting the main character, we not only feel but see the bleakness, despair, darkness, and anger. Conversely, the romantic and loving elements are obviously quite the opposite but are just as, if not more, effective. He changes the style completely to a washed out and bright world that feels like you’re touching heaven.

The story itself is a Faustian tale with its own surprises and twists along the way. I have always enjoyed when a character that has a good heart is given a chance at getting what he wants the easy way by having to commit evil deeds. Does he take the opportunity despite the steep costs? What deeds must he perform? How does it affect the other characters around him? It’s a formula that can be very good or very bad depending on the skills of the director and actors involved. Luckily, the script here works almost as well as the visual style. These characters really come alive in Ridley’s world and pulled me in. I cared what happened to them. I suppose much of the credit for that has to be given to Jim Sturgess who is brilliant in the main role. He goes through myriad changes from the beginning to the end of the film and our hearts break or are lifted up by him. Are there missteps? There’s a few. The setup is so amazing that I’m sure the final act was hard to pull off no matter what they did. I didn’t feel the same satisfaction as I did during the setup. Without giving away any spoilers, the last 10 minutes wrapped up a bit too quickly. I felt a bit more explanation was necessary considering the amount of questions that had been left open. Is it a perfect film? No, but it’s damn good and for anyone that enjoys a dark moral fable, I highly recommend it.

Pinocchio’s Revenge

After another long day in court, attorney Jennifer Garrick (Rosalind Allen) heads home with a strange piece of evidence: a wooden puppet stashed in the trunk of her car. But when her daughter Zoe (Brittany Alyse Smith) assumes the evidence is her birthday present and adopts the marionette as her newest toy, bodies begin piling up all around her. If Pinocchio is responsible for the carnage, who’s pulling the strings? Directed by Kevin Tenney, who brought us classics such as Corey Haim’s opus “Demolition University .”

Matt
Rating: 2 out of 10

There are some really laughable moments in this B-movie title. I couldn’t resist when I saw it in available on Netflix streaming on my Nintendo Wii. Sometimes it’s enjoyable to watch a bad movie. This one had some seriously hilarious moments.

The Pinocchio puppet doesn’t do anything for about the first 45 minutes of the movie. They often show it sitting there with it’s humongous eyes open wide and its dumb grin in a quick cut complete with horror shrill sounds from a battery-operated Yamaha synthesizer. But again, it just sits there, and you can’t help but laugh at those gigantic blue eyes just sitting there… doing nothing. I think it’s supposed to be scary.

The puppet does eventually does talk, and its animatronics are nothing special. But it’s only one scene. It makes you wonder if they were having technical issues and just said, “To hell with it. We’ll just film it.” Later, the puppet is set free when the girl cuts its marionette strings, but clearly it’s a little person dressed like the wooden Pinocchio. In another scene, the puppet is attacking the lead women, and it’s clear she’s just holding the puppet and swinging it around while she looks like she’s struggling.

This is a typical B-movie, horror flick. Corny acting, dialogue that’s lame, bad special effects, some nudity for good measure, editing straight out of a high school intro class, and a ludicrous plot that ends with a not-so-interesting twist. This movie is lousy, but it’s good for laugh.

My Soul To Keep

Some 15 years after the presumed death of a vicious serial killer, children whose birthdays match his supposed “deathday” start to disappear. But whether the killer — or his tortured soul — is responsible remains to be seen. One boy (Max Thieriot) knows for sure, but his own connection to the horrific crimes is far too terrible to imagine. Denzel Whitaker (The Great Debaters) co-stars in this horror tale from writer-director Wes Craven.

Kyle
2 out of 10

It actually took me a few minutes to remember the name of this film. That’s how much I cared for it. I think even a teenager would find this film not scary and terrible. I recently had a discussion with Victor, a fellow TMB contributor, about my pickiness in the horror genre. A horror film has to be done very well for me to actually enjoy it and want to watch again. Appropriate amounts of gore, a good psychological element and story are what I need to enjoy a good horror flick. Plain gore just doesn’t cut it.

None of these characteristics I just listed are present in this film. To start, the story was terrible, the subplots were unnecessary, and there were plot holes right from the very beginning. A killer from the past comes back after sixteen years to seek revenge in a small town. Revenge on whom you might ask? Eight kids that were all born on the day he died. Why? Why were they all born on the day he died? Who knows? There are many more plot holes that I need not mention. The whole revenge-by-a-supernatural-form has been done by Wes in “A Nightmare on Elm Street” but at least in that film he provided enough back story to keep us informed and not confused with questions.

I hated the characters and the dialogue, the kids were just flat-out corny and brainless, and the detective was just all around hateful. The end lacked a resolution and, again, it was super corny. Do yourself a favor and don’t see this garbage. What the hell were you thinking, Wes?

Wolfen

A brash Manhattan industrialist, his coke-bingeing wife and a slum wino have something grisly in common: They’re the latest victims in a series of seemingly motiveless murders, and all of them appear to have been killed by animals. Albert Finney stars in this shivery tale about brutal murders pointing to a previously unknown breed of canine creatures. Michael Wadleigh directs an innovative take on the werewolf legend full of mood and menace.

Victor
Rating: 7 out of 10

A high end, state of the art, protection agency along with the NYPD blames the horrific deaths of an uber- rich land developer and his wife on urban terrorists. Little do they know the actual criminals behind it all are a pack of mythic, bad ass, super wolves that live in the South Bronx. Bullshit, you say? Nah, it’s not. It’s the plot to Micheal Wadleigh’s 1981 horror thriller Wolfen based on the novel by Whitley Strieber. It stars Albert Finney as the hardened, semi retired police captain who is displeased about being on the case but is attracted to the police psychologist played by a very capable and likeable Diane Venora. Gregory Hines steals just about every scene he is in portraying a hip but smart medical examiner. And he sports an afro that has it’s own zip code.

I find that this film does work on many levels but it’s hard to peg where the story wants to solidify. It has all the cliche horror manipulations but it provokes thought from the viewer. There is native american indian folklore to consider since a suspect played by Edward James Olmos considers himself to be a shapeshifter. There is a subplot involving Wall Street terrorists and there is animal rights guy that claims “people kill people, not wolves.” Wrong. This film was probably a steadicam operator’s nightmare since it is used every time we go into wolfvision. It become dizzying at times but is still effective. There is some gore but not anything your average 12 year old can’t handle. I liked the film’s mood though when it evolves toward the discovery of the wolves hunting but yet protecting their turf in the Bronx. Hence the murder of the land developer. Wadleigh exudes carefully placed character interaction and mystery to propel the story to it’s rather timid ending.

The effects are a bit dated and Finney and Venora have zero chemistry. This though doesn’t really bog down Wolfen. It’s still pretty cool watching the wolves hunt their prey and when we eventually see them we are not disappointed. The wolves are beautiful yet very fierce and they do not want humans enchroaching on their territory. So there you have it. Wolfen is a smart, horror pop film from the early 80’s and it still has legs. It just won’t make you howl at the moon.

Jaws of Satan

Disguised as a deadly king cobra, Satan slithers into a small town and begins terrorizing Father Tom Farrow (Fritz Weaver), a priest whose family was cursed long ago. With snake-related deaths rising and city officials unresponsive, Farrow must fight Satan himself. In addition to a variety of suspenseful attack scenes, this low-budget horror movie also features a very young Christina Applegate in her big-screen debut.

Brian
Rating: 1 out of 10

I really don’t know why I do this to myself. I’m sitting at night with my wife and we’re flipping through the Netflix movies that are available through instant watching. I’m not in the mood for a drama, or a comedy, or sci-fi. Hmmm, horror sounds good. Then I notice legendary Director of Photography Dean Cundey (Halloween, The Thing, Who Framed Roger Rabbit), who worked on a film called “Jaws of Satan.”

I love the movie Jaws and you add Satan and it sounds even more evil and perilous. Well, I could not have been more wrong!! Imagine if you will, you have a film camera and you have no idea what to make a movie about. So, you go to Toys ‘R’ Us and you find a rubber snake and say, “Hey, I could make a horror film where a snake kills people.” You now have exactly the same amount of talent as the people who made “Jaws of Satan.” Where do I start with the shitiness?

Well, how about the phoniest looking snakes ever put on film? Check. How about claiming one of them is Satan? Check. How about tying a priest’s roots back to a druid culture that somehow battled previous snakes? Check. I could go on and on about the horrid special effects where you can see the glass between the guy and the snake. Or, I could explain the scene where a woman goes to bed and a rattlesnake slowly moves toward her. She picks up the phone and dials 911? Nooooope. She calls another character to come help her. We then watch as he runs from his hotel room to her house to save her. Now, I have no clue how close that hotel was to her house. But, if it was 3 blocks let’s say, it would take a hell of a lot longer for him to show up than it would FOR THE SNAKE TO CRAWL TO THE OTHER END OF A BED!!!!! Then, when the guy shows up, he coils the snake up with a rope and shoots it in the head. HAHAHAHA!!!! How the hell does a movie like this get made without someone who has serious brain damage green lighting the financing? I looked up the director, Bob Claver, and found that he had a terrific resume that consisted of Charles in Charge episodes as well as Mork & Mindy. I can’t believe a talent like this has been hidden from me for all these years when I could have been treasuring his genius.

Here’s a corny scene from Jaws of Satan…

I Know What You Did Last Summer

When some North Carolina teens flatten a stranger with their car, they leave him for dead and try to get on with their lives. He returns to give ’em, uh, the hook (literally) — the gore is leavened by some much-needed laughs. The well-known cast includes Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Ryan Phillippe.

Matt
Rating: 5 out of 10

Hard to believe, but this movie is 14 years old now. Old school!

This movie had a lot of young talent in it, with Hewitt, Gellar and Phillippe. Althought Freddie Prinze Jr. is laughably bad in this. His delivery is pure cheese. But as my wife said, “He was soooo handsome!” Bad actors who are good looking are nothing new to teen horror flicks. And this one is no different, with plenty of cliches – like a killer who always always behind victims who run at full speed and yet never seem to get away.

I really enjoyed this one when I was high school-aged and saw it in the theater with a group of friends. It’s really a perfect movie for that demographic. The films followed on the heels are the excellent horror flick “Scream,” which revived horror movies. This is not nearly as good, but it’s fun enough despite it’s obvious flaws. There are holes in the storyline you could fit a small country through, but the nostalgia factor is high enough that “I Know What You Did Last Summer” is worth pulling out on a dark night winter night with some friends.

Top 5 Scariest Movies of All Time

Horror, suspense and thrillers are some of the most fun movies to experience, but some films break new ground with shocking stories, visuals and memorable characters that stay with us. Here are our Top 5 scariest movies of all time — not necessarily horror. That’s a whole different debate. These are judged on quality of the filmmaker, writing, and, of course, how scary they are.

Matt

5. Wolf Creek: This movie is great because it breaks the mold of many horror movies — it actually develops the characters. When things start going wrong for three college students after a frightening bushman in the Australian outback starts torturing and hunting them, you actually care about them. The villain is wicked and cruel and the victims actually react how people really would. They don’t go into the dark room where they just saw the killer go. They run away, and the bad man chases them. A great horror movie.

4. The Ring: This feels like an urban legend coming to life. You watch a video. Right after you watch it, the phone rings. When you answer, you will die in the next 24 hours after the girl from the video comes out of the TV and kills you. Sounds simple, but with great acting by Naomi Watts, and a chilling story that leads her into the life and death of the girl in the video.

3. The Silence of the Lambs: Anthony Hopkins is dark, funny, and insightful in his portrayal of the serial killer Hannibal “The Cannibal” Lecter. Jodie Foster plays a complex role of a strong-willed but fragile FBI agent hunting down Buffalo Bill, a serial killer on the lose who skins his victims to make clothing with it. This movie plays with your mind and keeps you on the edge of your seat and never makes an easy choice for the story line. There’s never been a movie with such quality actors with a director who weaves the audience through a chilling and suspenseful movie. On a side note, this movie goes wonderfully with Chianti and fave beans.

2. Se7en: This is a brilliant script with fantastic acting from Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, Gwyneth Paltrow and Kevin Spacey. The story weaves around Pitt and Freeman, two detectives tracking down a killer who chooses his victims based on the seven deadly sins. The film takes some shockingly dark turns that make the hair on your body stand erect. It’s a bold, daring movie that pulls no punches. Whatever you do, don’t open the box.

1. The Exorcist: I saw this movie when I was 8 — not recommended. My older sister rented it when she was babysitting us, but she didn’t really know what she was getting into. The next morning I asked my Catholic mother over breakfast if the movie was real. “Yes dear, it is,” she said in a somber tone. It only frightened me worse. This movie was shocking —  a villain that can’t be seen in any way other than the face of a twisted child. The acting is superb, as is the directing from William Friedkind, an Academy Award-winning director for “The French Connection.”

Brian

5. Silence of the Lambs:

Jonathon Demme crafted a scare masterpiece with this film.  Anthony Hopkins is absolutely unforgettable as Hannibal Lecter in a role that defined his career and earned him an Oscar.  But, it’s Jodie Foster, also in an oscar winning performance, that is the glue that holds our attention and provides the greatest scares.  We walk the movie side by side with her and because she’s a rookie FBI agent, the audience and Clarice Starling are discovering the most macabre and disgusting behavior that humans are capable of for the first time together.  It will leave chills up your spine! See it!

4.  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre:

A super low budget gem from director Tobe Hooper that is still just as terrifying as it was 35 years ago.  After a slow start, this film turns into a 1 hour adrenaline rush where the lead heroine is put through a torture machine with the most disgusting “family” in cinema history.  Years later, its documentary style and raw energy have yet to be recreated.

3.  The Shining:

I’m not going to shy away from saying this.  Stanley Kubrick is the greatest director in the history of cinema.  I say that not only because the craft of his films are absolutely spellbinding but the diversity of his work.  He worked within almost every genre and his turn at horror is a masterpiece.  The tension through Kubrick’s use of sound is amazing.  Heartbeats, droning music, and harsh dialogue raise the adrenaline level to a very satisfying conclusion.

2.  Jaws:

I saw this movie when I was 8 years old and to this day I will not swim in natural bodies of water.  I don’t care if it’s a pond in North Dakota, I’m not going into anything that I don’t know what’s in there with me.  Never mind that the acting is brilliant, the direction superb, and the pace perfect, this film will frighten you to whits end when you realize you’re not alone in the water.

1.  The Exorcist:
I’m 34 years old now and this film still scares me.  It’s a deep, dark, and disturbing tale.  I suppose my fear is drawn from Friedkin’s amazing ability to treat this as completely believable.  This IS what pure evil must be like.  The demon’s psychological attacks are far more powerful than any gory film could ever dream to be.  And, for that, it is my pick as the most frightening film of all time.