Scream 4

Perennial survivor Sidney Prescott, now a successful self-help author, returns to her home town of Woodsboro in the fourth act of director Wes Craven’s Scream franchise. Sidney’s homecoming, however, coincides with a slew of unsettling new murders.

Matt
Rating: 6 out of 10

The original “Scream” was full of smart dialogue, suspense, fun characters, a great killer, and it was a blast. While this latest sequel doesn’t have the same pop, it’s a lot of fun.

My wife and I saw it on opening night, and while a lot of the script had some super corny lines, and the material doesn’t seem crisp — it’s hard to after four iterations and a huge gap between the last one — we both enjoyed ourselves. It’s not as suspensful as the original, but I’d say it’s the best sequel in the franchise.

If you go see “Scream 4,” don’t expect to see “Raging Bull.” But you can expect to see a fun movie that kept the ending interesting while spoofing itself along the way. It’s a funny, campy slasher flick. The 6 out of 10 rating means it’s above average as a movie. But the fun factor was more like an 8 out of 10.

Pinocchio’s Revenge

After another long day in court, attorney Jennifer Garrick (Rosalind Allen) heads home with a strange piece of evidence: a wooden puppet stashed in the trunk of her car. But when her daughter Zoe (Brittany Alyse Smith) assumes the evidence is her birthday present and adopts the marionette as her newest toy, bodies begin piling up all around her. If Pinocchio is responsible for the carnage, who’s pulling the strings? Directed by Kevin Tenney, who brought us classics such as Corey Haim’s opus “Demolition University .”

Matt
Rating: 2 out of 10

There are some really laughable moments in this B-movie title. I couldn’t resist when I saw it in available on Netflix streaming on my Nintendo Wii. Sometimes it’s enjoyable to watch a bad movie. This one had some seriously hilarious moments.

The Pinocchio puppet doesn’t do anything for about the first 45 minutes of the movie. They often show it sitting there with it’s humongous eyes open wide and its dumb grin in a quick cut complete with horror shrill sounds from a battery-operated Yamaha synthesizer. But again, it just sits there, and you can’t help but laugh at those gigantic blue eyes just sitting there… doing nothing. I think it’s supposed to be scary.

The puppet does eventually does talk, and its animatronics are nothing special. But it’s only one scene. It makes you wonder if they were having technical issues and just said, “To hell with it. We’ll just film it.” Later, the puppet is set free when the girl cuts its marionette strings, but clearly it’s a little person dressed like the wooden Pinocchio. In another scene, the puppet is attacking the lead women, and it’s clear she’s just holding the puppet and swinging it around while she looks like she’s struggling.

This is a typical B-movie, horror flick. Corny acting, dialogue that’s lame, bad special effects, some nudity for good measure, editing straight out of a high school intro class, and a ludicrous plot that ends with a not-so-interesting twist. This movie is lousy, but it’s good for laugh.

My Soul To Keep

Some 15 years after the presumed death of a vicious serial killer, children whose birthdays match his supposed “deathday” start to disappear. But whether the killer — or his tortured soul — is responsible remains to be seen. One boy (Max Thieriot) knows for sure, but his own connection to the horrific crimes is far too terrible to imagine. Denzel Whitaker (The Great Debaters) co-stars in this horror tale from writer-director Wes Craven.

Kyle
2 out of 10

It actually took me a few minutes to remember the name of this film. That’s how much I cared for it. I think even a teenager would find this film not scary and terrible. I recently had a discussion with Victor, a fellow TMB contributor, about my pickiness in the horror genre. A horror film has to be done very well for me to actually enjoy it and want to watch again. Appropriate amounts of gore, a good psychological element and story are what I need to enjoy a good horror flick. Plain gore just doesn’t cut it.

None of these characteristics I just listed are present in this film. To start, the story was terrible, the subplots were unnecessary, and there were plot holes right from the very beginning. A killer from the past comes back after sixteen years to seek revenge in a small town. Revenge on whom you might ask? Eight kids that were all born on the day he died. Why? Why were they all born on the day he died? Who knows? There are many more plot holes that I need not mention. The whole revenge-by-a-supernatural-form has been done by Wes in “A Nightmare on Elm Street” but at least in that film he provided enough back story to keep us informed and not confused with questions.

I hated the characters and the dialogue, the kids were just flat-out corny and brainless, and the detective was just all around hateful. The end lacked a resolution and, again, it was super corny. Do yourself a favor and don’t see this garbage. What the hell were you thinking, Wes?

Top 5 John Carpenter Movies

victor

John Carpenter pulls no punches. He is a director of horror, science-fiction, and cult hit movies. He is the master of it. There are no Academy Awards on his shelf, yet he boasts a string of extremely popular films that have made him one of the most successful directors of his generation. From classics like “Escape from New York” to “Starman,” Carpenter has been entertaining and frightening us for decades. Here is my list of Top 5 John Carpenter Movies.

5.  They Live – Carpenter rarely does blatant social commentary but his low budget, alien-among-us opus, They Live oozes with it. Consumerism, apathy, alienation and some political satire. Yes, the film is cheesy at times and the make up is a joke. I think it actually adds to the appeal of the film. Carpenter is in complete control here and it shows. A great, long fight scene by the 2 main leads, Roddy Piper and Keith David, is incredible to watch. Possibly the longest fight scene ever filmed. A great sci-fi outing that never disappoints. Obey. Sleep. Consume.

4. The Fog – I really love this film. Carpenter’s follow up to Halloween cements his place among the upper tier of horror filmmakers. The Fog is first and foremost a dreamy, ghost story that is chock full of mood and menace. A scary campfire tale come to life. Dean Cundey’s photography is top notch as always and Carpenter’s score is intense and ethereal. Carpenter juggles multiple characters and tells a ghastly story about wronged pirates come back to to life to exact revenge. Great film. Just steer clear of the remake.

3. Big Trouble in Little China – Oh that Kurt Russell. He flexes his comedic muscles here as a heroic but bumbling truck driver who unwittingly stumbles upon an age-old Chinese feud. Full of great choreographed fight scenes (way before Crouching Tiger), this tribute to Kung-Fu films is amazing to watch because of Carpenter and Russell’s tongue-in-cheek enthusiasm. It has wizards, ghosts and creatures aplenty. Just plain fun. I have yet to meet someone who did not like this film.

2. Halloween – This film is a masterpiece. Halloween is an example of how to make a horror film right. Much has been said about this influential film that was shot for only $350,000. Cundey’s camera work, Carpenter’s music, and the great lead characters make his film vastly superior to it’s cheap knock-off peers. Yes, it is a slasher film but it is done with the utmost care, precision and love for the then young genre. We care for the characters and Carpenter carefully establishes that Micheal Myers is a force to be reckoned with. Insanely perfect all around, Halloween is a must see.

1. The Thing – Carpenter’s Citizen Kane. The Thing sports an all male cast finely tuned and lead by Carpenter’s frontman, the always capable Kurt Russell. This is a sci- fi whodunnit with paranoid flair. Everything here is masterfully done. The ensemble is flawless. Cundey’s camerawork is miraculous to watch. Carpenter’s direction is tight and precise. But it’s the suspense that Carpenter establishes and the make up FX by Rob Bottin that really shine here. The film plays out like some morbid, alien take of an Agatha Christie novel where we are witness to the characters beginning to fear and distrust each other. The blu-ray includes a fantastic commentary by Russell and Carpenter that is a fan favorite to this day. The Thing is a must own. It is my favorite Carpenter film. Enjoy.

I Spit on Your Grave (2010)

In this horror remake, young writer Jennifer (Sarah Butler) finds life at her rented retreat perfect for working on her first novel. But her enthusiasm is shattered by her vicious rape. Now, the local thugs responsible will face an excruciating fate. Jennifer’s attackers command developmentally disabled Matthew (Chad Lindberg) to kill her, but he fakes the murder, leaving the scarred writer to carry out a gruesome plot for revenge.

Brian
Rating: 6 out of 10

There’s two ways you can look at a movie like this. You can be repulsed by the horrific violence and the brutal rape scenes as exploitative and offensive or you can accept that it’s a revenge fantasy for victimized women. I chose the latter.

Is it graphic? You bet your ass it is. The rape scenes (Yes, plural, “scenes”) are done realistically and with extreme cruelty. You don’t just want the antagonists in this film to die. You want to see them suffer a fate worse than death. Their deeds certainly deserve it. Now, I saw the original film and though it was a hunk of shit, ,it was exploitative in the sense that when the female protagonist finally goes for revenge, the murder scenes were way too over the top. Here, each murder scene is done in a way where the punishment fits the crime. She returns her cruel treatment with extreme cruelty and it works. Also, the acting here is very good. The five rapists in the film are repulsive and it takes a good performance to really make you hate them. Sarah Butler, a film newcomer, is terrific and believable. She really holds the whole film together and shows a lot of promise for future films to come.

What are the downsides of this film? Well, for one, there’s not much of a story. They raped her so she wants to kill them. It’s simple enough but there’s not much dimension to it. Also, it’s hard for me to believe a law enforcement officer would team up with a bunch of losers to commit such a heinous crime. How did they organize all this and why? It doesn’t matter, though, how large the holes are in the plot. I went along for the ride with the whole revenge fantasy of victimized women everywhere. And, in that vein, it works.

I Know What You Did Last Summer

When some North Carolina teens flatten a stranger with their car, they leave him for dead and try to get on with their lives. He returns to give ’em, uh, the hook (literally) — the gore is leavened by some much-needed laughs. The well-known cast includes Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Ryan Phillippe.

Matt
Rating: 5 out of 10

Hard to believe, but this movie is 14 years old now. Old school!

This movie had a lot of young talent in it, with Hewitt, Gellar and Phillippe. Althought Freddie Prinze Jr. is laughably bad in this. His delivery is pure cheese. But as my wife said, “He was soooo handsome!” Bad actors who are good looking are nothing new to teen horror flicks. And this one is no different, with plenty of cliches – like a killer who always always behind victims who run at full speed and yet never seem to get away.

I really enjoyed this one when I was high school-aged and saw it in the theater with a group of friends. It’s really a perfect movie for that demographic. The films followed on the heels are the excellent horror flick “Scream,” which revived horror movies. This is not nearly as good, but it’s fun enough despite it’s obvious flaws. There are holes in the storyline you could fit a small country through, but the nostalgia factor is high enough that “I Know What You Did Last Summer” is worth pulling out on a dark night winter night with some friends.