Hobo With a Shotgun

This gory, gleefully over-the-top revenge fantasy stars Rutger Hauer as the Hobo, a bum who rolls into town hoping to start over, only to find his adopted city saturated in violence and ruled by a vicious crime lord known as the Drake (Brian Downey). The Hobo’s answer? Pick up his handy pump-action scattergun and start laying waste to crooks, corrupt cops and every other lowlife who crosses his path.

Brian
Rating: 5 out of 10
Warning: This review contains minor spoilers.

I literally spent half the day trying to figure out how to rate this movie. Do I rate it a 7 and praise its audacity to offend and repulse its audience or do I go the other way and rate it a 3 for its lousy production value and over the top antagonists? I decided to take the easy way out and go right down the middle.

There’s a lot to like and lot to dislike about “Hobo with a Shotgun.” I’ll start with the praise by saying that the movie delivers exactly what the title implies. It’s a hearkening back (similar to the Tarantino and Rodriguez’s recent efforts) to the 1970’s grindhouse cinema that was known more for shock than substance. Rutger Hauer is perfectly cast as the title character and adds an element of humanity to a film containing extremely little of it. It has been interesting to see these Grindhouse resurgences starring extremely talented actors. It definitely goes against traditional films of this type. Only a few of them contained even a shred of acting chops. Nowadays, we have Rutger Hauer, Kurt Russell, Robert Deniro, and others starring in them.

But, I digress. The other elements that worked are the over the top action scenes — one containing two assassins sent to a hospital dressed like a cross between an S&M dominatrix and Darth Vader is particularly good. Another is a montage of scenes where the hobo gets revenge with… well, you guessed it… his shotgun. Blood flies, limbs are severed, decapitations occur, and the film is off to a terrific and bloody start. Then, something terrible happens. The three main antagonists, all played horribly over the top, decide to “shock the people.” Two of them enter a school bus with a flame thrower and taunt a bus full of 6-9 year old kids. It ends with the flame thrower mowing them all down and a young girl half on fire pounding on the bus window and screaming. All of a sudden, I wasn’t having fun anymore. There are certain lines you don’t cross while trying to make a fun and bloody romp and the #1 amongst them is leave the kids out of it. It’s impossible for almost anyone to laugh and have a good time during a grindhouse flick when they’re watching young children screaming while they’re being burned to death. It’s clear that director Jason Eisener was trying to cross every line he could find. I’ll never knock anyone for trying to go places others won’t go but it ruined a film I was starting to like. I think “Hobo with a Shotgun” is going to be a cult film for a long time, but it won’t get a repeated viewing by me.

My Soul To Keep

Some 15 years after the presumed death of a vicious serial killer, children whose birthdays match his supposed “deathday” start to disappear. But whether the killer — or his tortured soul — is responsible remains to be seen. One boy (Max Thieriot) knows for sure, but his own connection to the horrific crimes is far too terrible to imagine. Denzel Whitaker (The Great Debaters) co-stars in this horror tale from writer-director Wes Craven.

Kyle
2 out of 10

It actually took me a few minutes to remember the name of this film. That’s how much I cared for it. I think even a teenager would find this film not scary and terrible. I recently had a discussion with Victor, a fellow TMB contributor, about my pickiness in the horror genre. A horror film has to be done very well for me to actually enjoy it and want to watch again. Appropriate amounts of gore, a good psychological element and story are what I need to enjoy a good horror flick. Plain gore just doesn’t cut it.

None of these characteristics I just listed are present in this film. To start, the story was terrible, the subplots were unnecessary, and there were plot holes right from the very beginning. A killer from the past comes back after sixteen years to seek revenge in a small town. Revenge on whom you might ask? Eight kids that were all born on the day he died. Why? Why were they all born on the day he died? Who knows? There are many more plot holes that I need not mention. The whole revenge-by-a-supernatural-form has been done by Wes in “A Nightmare on Elm Street” but at least in that film he provided enough back story to keep us informed and not confused with questions.

I hated the characters and the dialogue, the kids were just flat-out corny and brainless, and the detective was just all around hateful. The end lacked a resolution and, again, it was super corny. Do yourself a favor and don’t see this garbage. What the hell were you thinking, Wes?

I Spit on Your Grave (2010)

In this horror remake, young writer Jennifer (Sarah Butler) finds life at her rented retreat perfect for working on her first novel. But her enthusiasm is shattered by her vicious rape. Now, the local thugs responsible will face an excruciating fate. Jennifer’s attackers command developmentally disabled Matthew (Chad Lindberg) to kill her, but he fakes the murder, leaving the scarred writer to carry out a gruesome plot for revenge.

Brian
Rating: 6 out of 10

There’s two ways you can look at a movie like this. You can be repulsed by the horrific violence and the brutal rape scenes as exploitative and offensive or you can accept that it’s a revenge fantasy for victimized women. I chose the latter.

Is it graphic? You bet your ass it is. The rape scenes (Yes, plural, “scenes”) are done realistically and with extreme cruelty. You don’t just want the antagonists in this film to die. You want to see them suffer a fate worse than death. Their deeds certainly deserve it. Now, I saw the original film and though it was a hunk of shit, ,it was exploitative in the sense that when the female protagonist finally goes for revenge, the murder scenes were way too over the top. Here, each murder scene is done in a way where the punishment fits the crime. She returns her cruel treatment with extreme cruelty and it works. Also, the acting here is very good. The five rapists in the film are repulsive and it takes a good performance to really make you hate them. Sarah Butler, a film newcomer, is terrific and believable. She really holds the whole film together and shows a lot of promise for future films to come.

What are the downsides of this film? Well, for one, there’s not much of a story. They raped her so she wants to kill them. It’s simple enough but there’s not much dimension to it. Also, it’s hard for me to believe a law enforcement officer would team up with a bunch of losers to commit such a heinous crime. How did they organize all this and why? It doesn’t matter, though, how large the holes are in the plot. I went along for the ride with the whole revenge fantasy of victimized women everywhere. And, in that vein, it works.

Wolfen

A brash Manhattan industrialist, his coke-bingeing wife and a slum wino have something grisly in common: They’re the latest victims in a series of seemingly motiveless murders, and all of them appear to have been killed by animals. Albert Finney stars in this shivery tale about brutal murders pointing to a previously unknown breed of canine creatures. Michael Wadleigh directs an innovative take on the werewolf legend full of mood and menace.

Victor
Rating: 7 out of 10

A high end, state of the art, protection agency along with the NYPD blames the horrific deaths of an uber- rich land developer and his wife on urban terrorists. Little do they know the actual criminals behind it all are a pack of mythic, bad ass, super wolves that live in the South Bronx. Bullshit, you say? Nah, it’s not. It’s the plot to Micheal Wadleigh’s 1981 horror thriller Wolfen based on the novel by Whitley Strieber. It stars Albert Finney as the hardened, semi retired police captain who is displeased about being on the case but is attracted to the police psychologist played by a very capable and likeable Diane Venora. Gregory Hines steals just about every scene he is in portraying a hip but smart medical examiner. And he sports an afro that has it’s own zip code.

I find that this film does work on many levels but it’s hard to peg where the story wants to solidify. It has all the cliche horror manipulations but it provokes thought from the viewer. There is native american indian folklore to consider since a suspect played by Edward James Olmos considers himself to be a shapeshifter. There is a subplot involving Wall Street terrorists and there is animal rights guy that claims “people kill people, not wolves.” Wrong. This film was probably a steadicam operator’s nightmare since it is used every time we go into wolfvision. It become dizzying at times but is still effective. There is some gore but not anything your average 12 year old can’t handle. I liked the film’s mood though when it evolves toward the discovery of the wolves hunting but yet protecting their turf in the Bronx. Hence the murder of the land developer. Wadleigh exudes carefully placed character interaction and mystery to propel the story to it’s rather timid ending.

The effects are a bit dated and Finney and Venora have zero chemistry. This though doesn’t really bog down Wolfen. It’s still pretty cool watching the wolves hunt their prey and when we eventually see them we are not disappointed. The wolves are beautiful yet very fierce and they do not want humans enchroaching on their territory. So there you have it. Wolfen is a smart, horror pop film from the early 80’s and it still has legs. It just won’t make you howl at the moon.

I Know What You Did Last Summer

When some North Carolina teens flatten a stranger with their car, they leave him for dead and try to get on with their lives. He returns to give ’em, uh, the hook (literally) — the gore is leavened by some much-needed laughs. The well-known cast includes Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Ryan Phillippe.

Matt
Rating: 5 out of 10

Hard to believe, but this movie is 14 years old now. Old school!

This movie had a lot of young talent in it, with Hewitt, Gellar and Phillippe. Althought Freddie Prinze Jr. is laughably bad in this. His delivery is pure cheese. But as my wife said, “He was soooo handsome!” Bad actors who are good looking are nothing new to teen horror flicks. And this one is no different, with plenty of cliches – like a killer who always always behind victims who run at full speed and yet never seem to get away.

I really enjoyed this one when I was high school-aged and saw it in the theater with a group of friends. It’s really a perfect movie for that demographic. The films followed on the heels are the excellent horror flick “Scream,” which revived horror movies. This is not nearly as good, but it’s fun enough despite it’s obvious flaws. There are holes in the storyline you could fit a small country through, but the nostalgia factor is high enough that “I Know What You Did Last Summer” is worth pulling out on a dark night winter night with some friends.