There are plenty of films that become critics darlings, or take the film award season by storm. Many of them, however, are crap. For instance, the timeless film “Raging Bull” was nominated for several Oscars, including best picture in 1980. Can you tell me who won? “Ordinary People” took home the award. It was crap. Here are two lists of our most overrated movies.
5. The English Patient: By the time this overlong, overly sentimental film is over, the most painful thing is that you’ll never get that 3 hours of your life back. It’s complete drivel that somehow managed to pull out a best picture Oscar. Such a shame….
4. The Pink Panther (Any of them): Another film that is heralded as a classic and put Blake “no talent” Edwards on the map. He only had one good movie ever with “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.” The rest are pure garbage. “The Pink Panther” is terribly dull and unfunny — I had a hard time staying awake. Classic? I think not.
3. Chicago: Another best picture winner that has the deodorizer known as an Oscar to cover up the rank smell of shit permeating from this turd. No plot, no characters I care about, musical tunes that are boring or sung completely out of tune (Richard Gere, you bastard, my ears will never be the same) are among the highlights of a film that has already been forgotten.
2. Shakespeare in Love: This won best picture over “Saving Private Ryan”… Wait a minute, I just had to catch my breath. Let me try this again. THIS WON BEST PICTURE OVER SAVING PRIVATE RYAN?!?!?!?!! You’ve got to be kidding me! That’s all I have to say.
1. Moulin Rouge: One of the worst films that I have ever seen in 34 years on this Earth was nominated for eight fucking Academy Awards. What in the hell were they smoking?! This movie has zero plot, characters that completely suck, musical numbers borrowed from modern sources that don’t work in the slightest, and the most annoying editing I’ve ever seen. It moves like a manic snot nosed child who ate too much sugar while staring at a bad 60’s fashion show. Baz Luhrman, please, just stay away from the camera. You don’t belong there. All of your movies suck but this one is the worst.
5. Animal House: John Belushi was an exceptional talent. His work on “Saturday Night Live” set a precedence the show strives to replicate to this day. But “Animal House” is trite, silly without being funny, and hard to stomach. It’s not a terrible movie, it’s below average for certain, but not at all deserving of the iconic status its been elevated to.
4. Brokeback Mountain: Heath Ledger gave an incredible performance in this movie about two cowboys who become lovers while trying to maintain a normal life in rural, close-minded America. However, this is “Romeo and Juliet” with two gay cowboys. It’s predictable in every fashion and also very slow. This should not have won a best writing Oscar.
3. Shakespeare In Love: I took a date to see this movie. It was a perfect date movie. We laughed, we were entertained, and I’d give this film a positive review. However, it is not worthy of 7 Oscars, let along a best picture award over “Saving Private Ryan.” Gwyneth Paltrow’s performance was solid, but not worthy of a best acting Oscar. Judi Dench was in the movie eight minutes and won a best supporting actress Oscar. Ridiculous. Can we say overrated critics darling?
2. Titanic: This movie had a titanic mess of a script. Even amazing actors like Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslett couldn’t give anything but wooden performances with this cheesy script. James Cameron knows how to make a visual spectacle, but doesn’t know how to develop a character. This was not worthy of a best picture Oscar. Here’s a lovely piece of dialogue.
Jack: Where to, Miss?
Rose: To the stars.
1. Lord of the Rings Trilogy: I loved these movies when they came out in the theaters. When I got them on DVD, and sat down with a buttery bowl of popcorn, I couldn’t believe what a huge nerd I was. I wish I could jump in a time machine and smack me for liking these trite, horribly written films with characters that are overly sentimental, wooden, and boring. If wizards and goblins are your thing, have at it. I like motorcycles, sports, beer and women. You can have your Dungeons and Dragons.
Sam: I made a promise, Mr. Frodo. A promise. “Don’t you leave him Samwise Gamgee.” And I don’t mean to. I don’t mean to.
When you say your last sentence twice, you know it’s good writing. You know it’s good writing.